.

“I can’t go back to yesterday — because I was a different person, then.”

.

~ Lewis Carroll

The Tiger Ranch raid happened over two years ago. It came up on my “radar” because at that time I was heavily involved in the no-kill rescue world in PA.

Little did I know at the time… but that event set off a whole chain of Big Life Lessons. I wasn’t inclined to think I needed “life lessons” — I was pretty sure I had it all figured out.

Ha.

Watch out. Sometimes, the times when you think you have it “all figured out”… are the times when life is about to bitch slap you with a load of lessons.

Hard.

In retrospect, it is hard for me to imagine it took me so long to figure some of this stuff out. Mea culpa.

Thus I present…

Lessons I Learned

1. Everyone has an agenda. And very few people in this world actually have joy, love, and honesty in their hearts. Most everything anyone does — no matter how altruistic and “for the greater good” it looks — is done to further their Personal Agenda. That’s fine. That’s what we all do. But beware sows’ ears presented as silk purses. And make sure you aren’t the one seeing “sow’s ear” and interpreting it as “silk purse”.

2. People who scream the loudest to convince other people of their goodness and rightness are usually the ones with the biggest personal demons and the biggest lies to hide. Simple overcompensation.

3. Very few people actually care about the Truth enough to live it. This explodes my head continually, because without Truth, what do we have? Exactly nothing. But never mind… that simple fact seems to escape the greater proportion of the population. It is what it is. People only like the parts of Truth that further their Personal Agendas. “Truth” is sacrificed all the time, using the excuses of comfort and convenience, by the demons of pride, ego, fear, and shame and/or embarrassment. But obfuscating or ignoring Truth does not make it magically disappear or change. The Truth is still there. Lying in wait, to derail you at some unknown time in the future. And obfuscation and lies eat away your soul, little by little, until there is no soul left.

4. Internet bickering and wars on discussion forums are an absurd, self-aggrandizing waste of time. Discussion and debate are great. When it devolves into anonymous keyboard-warrior flamefests and free-for-alls? Filled with hate and vitriol? Sorry, I don’t have time for it, or any interest in participating. Show me someone who spends their time spewing hate on the internet, and I’ll show you someone with horrible self-esteem. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. Burned it.

5. People are often not who they present themselves to the world to be.

6. Be cautious about who — and what — you give your heart to. And don’t ever give your whole heart away. Save some for yourself.

7. Living with lies does not work. Ever. You can try to keep kicking the can down the curb, but only one of two things can happen. The Truth prevails… Or you die drowning in the misery of the sea of lies that you’ve spun around yourself. Or bricked in by your own walls of denial. Every day you live with a lie, another brick is added and the walls get higher.

8. We all get to choose who to keep in our circle, and who doesn’t fit. We are not “stuck” with the people in our life, or with situations that seem to have “no way out”. Thinking you are “stuck”, ever — and blaming other people for being stuck, or for “what they do (or did) to you” –  is the biggest lie of all. It’s pure horse shit. It’s your life. Own it. Direct it. Nurture it. Life does not happen “to you”. You make it happen.

“Yeah, well, Madras, so what?”

We are all ultimately responsible for ourselves, for the paths we choose to follow and for the choices we make in life.

We can seek to influence other people in a positive way. We can choose to try to help other people’s experiences on this planet be better ones — but we are only responsible for our own experiences and actions. Not anyone else’s. And nobody else is responsible for our own life experience. I do believe that everyone makes the best choices they are able to make at the time they make them. And every day is a new day, to make a new choice. Don’t continue to pour investments of time, energy, and love into choices that are no longer good ones — just because it seemed like a good choice at some previous time.

Sometimes, despite our best intentions and efforts, the choices we make blow up in our faces and things go horribly wrong. But in the end we all own our choices, our actions… and our reactions.

Blaming other people for one’s own actions — and reactions — is the ultimate FAIL.

Taking responsibility for other people’s actions — and reactions — is equally messed up.

Own your life.

Own your feelings and emotions.

Own your choices.

Own your actions.

There are no mistakes in life… only lessons

Learn life’s lessons even when you want to stick your head in the sand or run away because you don’t think you want to learn them.

You only get the one life.

You can stay on the hamster wheel, and keep repeating the same mistakes… Or you can say “no thx, I’ve had enough of the Hamster Wheel of Insanity”, and jump off any time.

So now what?

I’m off the wheel.

I have a new path to follow.

Who knows where this one goes? And frankly it doesn’t matter.

It’s going the right direction, and it is pointing forward.

Choose your path wisely. And don’t spin in place.

If you bet on a losing horse, don’t be afraid to own that decision, too.

Will you add another brick to the wall today, further choking off Light and Truth? Happiness and Freedom?

(Thunk.)

Or will you summon the courage to bust down the wall, to live a life of authenticity — with true integrity?

hat tip, headbutts and {bows} to the elusive and etherial creature known as iamlazarus… life is a fascinating journey… see you on the flip side…

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-Charles Louis de Secundat, the Baron of Montesquieu

My interest in the case was sparked by how badly I thought PSPCA handled the raid, and I elected to give Lin Marie the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to see the case go to trial, so that there might be a chance for all sides of the story to be told. When she chose to accept the plea, it meant the closure that I wanted would never arrive. I don’t begrudge her that choice, but that’s when and why I lost interest.

I’ve pulled way back from the rescue community, almost entirely out of it. I have lost my stomach for all the toxic people who are involved with it. People who run around with savior complexes, thinking that their reprehensible behavior toward other people is perfectly all right – because “It’s for the animals.”

Horse shit.

For far too many people, it’s about boosting their own egos and self esteem. Quite frankly, I don’t have the stomach for it, and I don’t wish to continue to perpetuate that sort of drama. I certainly don’t want that sort of drama in my own life.

As for the other topics and causes that interjected themselves here from time to time… I’ve lost my spirit and don’t have the life energy to tilt at any more windmills.

I’ll leave the site here for now, as a testament to the futility of naive dreams.

From: Anonymous
To: Madras
Subject: Ignorant
Sent: Oct 14, 2009 16:14

Message: It is obvious that while you think you know much about the law, you don’t understand how the system works. The judge and jury decide the outcome of cases, not an ignorant 3rd party. Animal abuse cases like Tiger Ranch should be focused on because Pennsylvania (and the rest of the states) need to be more considerate of animals. Bruno has a cult following – I’m sure you have figured that out. For whatever reason, mindless people have followed her and taken her words at face value, rather than looking at the big picture. She neglected animals. Have you seen the pictures? They are gut-wrenching. I can’t even look at your entire website because it is obvious you don’t actually know much about this. I feel sorry for your own cats. Based on the comments I have read, written by you, it wouldn’t surprise me if you neglected them the same way Bruno did. She will pay, and let the justice system do its job. You are a mere bystander who needs a better education.

IP: 67.171.103.168 HOST: c-67-171-103-168.hsd1.pa.comcast.net

Excuse me…

OK, I feel better now.

Well, my dear “Anonymous” (did your mother pick that name, or did your father?)… we’re not sure exactly which brilliant, reasoned, and insightful missive of ours you are referring to, nor do we much care.

But yes, we are “mere bystanders” who are just trying to assimilate the facts and sort through them like everyone else. We are quite well aware of what we know and what we don’t know, and don’t much need you to point it out to us.

We are neither “Bruno cult members”, nor animal abusers, and our own pets are quite well cared for to the tune of thousands of dollars a year.

But everyone is entitled to an opinion — yes, even you. Was nice of you to drop by to “enlighten” us. Really. We see the “light” and the error of our evil ways so much more clearly now that you have taken the time to edjikate us.

Don’t like the site?

Don’t come back, it’s that simple. It’s really just here for our own vanity and amusement, nothing more and nothing less.

OK, thx, bai.

.

Addendum

Seems “Anonymous” got here by Google searching “Deb Jugan” and this is the missive that got him/her in a snit:

http://tortiball.com/wp/2009/01/does-assistant-district-attorney-deb-jugan-not-know-the-law-or-simply-consider-her-office-above-it/

And spent (pause to do math in head) exactly 3 minutes and 3 seconds on the site before deciding to fire off the previously quoted illustrious commentary from our Contact page.

We’re underwhelmed.

Perplexed about some of this new information, perplexed as to why this whole fiasco has turned into an enormous Battle of the Egos, perplexed as to how and why so much time, money, and effort could be wasted tearing things and people and lives and infrastructures down — without sufficient effort being made to build and improve and replace and make better.

Perplexed about people who are unable to ever, ever, EVER say they may have been wrong or deficient in any way. (It’s OK to be a little bit wrong sometimes. It really is.)

If I had one wish in life, it would be that every destructive or harmful action perpetuated by anyone, would be required to be accompanied by an equal effort directed toward constructive and helpful actions.

Yin and yang.

The world needs more balance.

When you’re weary, there’s nothing better than wrapping yourself

in the warmth and security of unconditional love.

From today’s Post-Gazette:

Judge orders owner of Tiger Ranch to jail

Tuesday, October 06, 2009
By Jim McKinnon, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

The operator of a cat shelter who previously pleaded guilty to animal cruelty charges was ordered to jail yesterday after a judge learned that the woman had violated the terms of her bond.

Linda Bruno, 47, who legally changed her name to Lin Marie, pleaded guilty in July to 14 counts that include animal cruelty and tampering with public records. She faces maximum time of two years in prison on each count and a $12,000 fine.

Ms. Bruno yesterday appeared before Common Pleas Court Judge Jill Rangos for a sentencing hearing, but Judge Rangos suspended the hearing after hearing testimony from humane officers and seeing evidence that had returned to her farm in Frazer, known as Tiger Ranch.

Assistant District Attorney Deborah Jugan presented photos and video clips of what the judge said appeared to be evidence that Ms. Bruno violated several key conditions of the nominal bond that allowed her to remain free while awaiting sentencing.

Judge Rangos was dismayed to hear that Ms. Bruno had visited the old ranch; had continued to provide food and litter for animals; had lived with her mother in Sarver, not obtaining a permanent address whereby she could receive court papers; and failed to submit to a mental health evaluation, all in violation of her bond.

“Needless to say, this is very disconcerting information that I’ve received,” Judge Rangos said. “At the minimum … it’s suspicious.”

Officials seized nearly 400 cats during a March 13, 2008, raid on the Tiger Ranch cat sanctuary. Most of the animals were shipped to a temporary shelter in Clarion County, although 126 of the animals were euthanized or died on their own that night and in the days following the raid.

She was arraigned on about 600 counts that were reduced to 14 in exchange for her guilty plea.

After learning about the bond violations, Judge Rangos halted the hearing and ordered Richard Manning, a detective in the Allegheny County sheriff’s office, to inspect Tiger Ranch for evidence.

Detective Manning returned a few hours later to report a handful of Ms. Bruno’s supporters had gotten there first.

Animal rights activists outside the gates pointed out where one Bruno supporter was burning empty and used bags of pet food and litter.

Four or five stray cats were seen inside and outside of the large garage that once the hub of the integrated shelter, the detective said.

The judge then ordered Ms. Bruno to jail but said she could apply for alternative housing pending sentencing on Dec. 4.

Ms. Bruno’s attorney said she had been back to the property only once, to pick up mail.

Ms. Bruno said yesterday that she has lived for the past three or four days at the Days Inn in Harmar.

“How ridiculous,” Judge Rangos said, that five of Ms. Bruno’s supporters, “raced to her property to have a bonfire.”

She said she would leave it to the district attorney’s office to decide whether anyone should be charged for yesterday’s actions at Tiger Ranch.

[More at link]

And from this morning’s Valley News Dispatch:

The deal is over: Former Tiger Ranch owner’s bond revoked

By Chuck Biedka and Matthew Santoni, VALLEY NEWS DISPATCH
Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The owner of the defunct Tiger Ranch cat sanctuary in Frazer will await sentencing from her jail cell for violating an agreement while she was free on bond, an Allegheny County judge ruled Monday.

Allegheny County Judge Jill E. Rangos ordered Lin Marie, 47, formerly of Miller Drive, Frazer, jailed for having contact with animals, even though Marie agreed not to do so as part of her release before her sentencing.

Sentencing was supposed to occur yesterday, but the judge postponed it until Dec. 4 because Marie didn’t have a psychological evaluation done as the judge had ordered.

Marie, also known as Linda Bruno, would have continued to stay out of jail until sentencing even after the judge learned Monday that Marie was living at the house of her mother, who has cats, and that Marie couldn’t be readily found by a probation officer.

Both could have been grounds for revoking Marie’s non-monetary bond.

Rangos warned Marie, “I will revoke your bond if I get one more piece of evidence of any sort.”

Then the judge was told that there still may be cats living at the supposedly defunct Tiger Ranch.

[snip]

When Judge Rangos heard about cats at Tiger Ranch, she ordered county sheriff’s deputies to see for themselves. All cats were to be removed from the property under the terms of Marie’s pre-sentence release.

When the deputies got to the property around lunchtime, they found cats.

[snip]

Almost all the doors around the Tiger Ranch complex had been opened, a fire was burning in a trash barrel and four to five cats were wandering the property, Manning said.

Manning said a man who identified himself as a caretaker said he was burning household trash stuffed in used cat food and cat litter bags. Manning said he saw fresh cat feces and about 15 empty food and litter bags in a garage, along with a bag of dog food.

At least three of the cats had names, Manning said, which Rangos said contradicted the defense’s claims that they were feral.

“No matter how you spin this, at a minimum it’s suspicious,” Rangos said before revoking Marie’s bond.

[snip]

[More at link]

OK, my head is spinning now.

But despite other things which seem to be in violation of the terms of bond… COULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW ONE IS SUPPOSED TO KEEP STRAY CATS off of a FARM in the COUNTRY???

Seriously, because if anyone has that magical information, I could make millions with it.

Just when it starts making sense, and people seem to be responding and proceeding reasonably and rationally… they go off the deep end with bullshit like that.

And in these days of economic crises, no state budget, and millions and millions of real people who are suffering with real problems (not to mention real criminals committing real crimes)… does any of this really matter in the scheme of things, today, October 7, 2009?

Has all this really been an appropriate expenditure of both taxpayer dollars… and human effort?

Has anything in the big picture been made… “better”?

Judge revokes bond for Tiger Ranch owner after release violations

An Allegheny County judge today revoked bond for the owner of the now-defunct Tiger Ranch cat shelter in Frazer, saying she violated conditions of her release by continuing to have contact with animals.

[snip]

But at her sentencing hearing today, Common Pleas Court Judge Jill E. Rangos heard testimony that Marie had packages of cat litter and food in the trash at her mother’s home when she was living there and since has not made permanent living arrangements, both violations of her plea.

Detectives took Marie back into custody after the judge’s ruling this afternoon.

[see link for full article]

More at link

[UPDATE 1] – Tuesday, October 6, 9:20 a.m. EDT

My link is not incorrect. The article at the original link has been changed since this was posted.

And the Valley News Dispatch wonders why I have a penchant for wanting to archive and reproduce the original articles in the entirety, rather than providing links to their site???

Whatever. I has a cranky today.

Sentencing Continued In Tiger Ranch Case

Sentencing in the case of a local woman who pleaded guilty to animal cruelty in July, was continued Monday.

A judge has ordered sheriff’s deputies back to the property in Frazier Township to investigate claims that Linda Bruno has been taking care of more cats.

As part of her plea agreement, she agreed to submit to a psychological examination and not to have, own or control animals during the length of her sentence.

She agreed to plead guilty to 12 counts of animal cruelty and two counts of forging veterinary records.

Bruno is pleaded guilty to misdemeanors which could carry up to 24 years in prison. That’s not likely, but the district attorney’s office said they will push for jail time during the sentencing.

Authorities charged Bruno with hundreds of animal cruelty charges in connection with a raid on the Tiger Ranch Cat Sanctuary in March of 2008.

Humane agents said they found hundreds of dead, dying and diseased cats at the facility that Bruno ran. Some of the animals suffered from respiratory problems and infectious diseases.

Police say Bruno forged rabies vaccination certificates and administered rabies shots to animals when she was not licensed to do so.

Source:  kdka.com

Apparently there was a nice dog-and-pony show effort this morning by our “friends” at VFA. I have nothing to add that will not rapidly degenerate into a rant, so I shall hold my torti-tongue.

(So much for “closure,” eh?)

[UPDATE 1] – 12:11 p.m.

From WTAE channel 4

DA: Woman Who Pleaded Guilty To Cruelty Still Has Contact With Animals

Court Still Waiting For Linda Bruno’s Psychiatric Exam

PITTSBURGH — The former caregiver at the Tiger Ranch Cat Sanctuary will have to wait a little longer to learn her sentence, and she may wind up back in jail while she waits.

Animal control officials raided Tiger Ranch in March of 2008 and found hundreds of diseased, dying and dead cats on the Frazer Township property, including some dead cats stored in a freezer.

Linda Bruno, who goes by the name Lin Marie, eventually pleaded guilty to 14 counts of animal cruelty. She was scheduled to be sentenced on Monday, but she was supposed to have undergone a psychiatric evaluation before then, which she didn’t do, so the hearing was continued.

The Allegheny County District Attorney’s office introduced evidence on Monday that prosecutors said shows Bruno continues to have contact with cats, both at Tiger Ranch and at her mother’s house where she’s staying. Having contact with animals is a direct violation of Bruno’s bond.

The new evidence comes from women who said they’ve conducted surveillance on Bruno since the day Tiger Ranch was raided.

“The litter at Tiger Ranch was loaded with trash. And there was some litter at her mother’s house, and evidence of empty cat food containers, plates, whatnot,” said Carolyn DeForest, who collected evidence against Bruno.

“Lin Marie, heart and soul, is to help a cat. Whether it’s a friendly cat or a feral cat. Young, old, it doesn’t matter, she cares,” said Betsy Fajayan, who supports Bruno.

The judge told Bruno on Monday that if she receives one more piece of evidence showing Bruno has any contact at all with animals, then Bruno will have her bond revoked and she will be taken back to jail.

Source:  thepittsburghchannel.com

Again, I shall refrain from any comment beyond… “Ms. DeForest and her cohorts need to get a life.”

This case could’ve been handled so much better – resulted in much more positive outcomes for the cats, and all players involved. Instead, it fed opportunists, fueled already oversized egos, and sensationalized a shelter outbreak in a way that shifted focus from any real issues.

Too many unwanted cats.

A system that promotes destruction of sick or “undesirable” cats, rather than serving to foster the cooperation and collaboration that may actually serve to protect them.

Too many “players” in the animal rescue scene that covet attention and power over the true welfare of the animals they purport to serve.

Tomorrow will finally bring closure, in whatever form it may take, for a good woman, who devoted her life to providing a loving home for animals and in honoring their right to live, and die, with dignity. This will end a painful chapter in Lin’s life. One she will learn hard lessons from but move on and continue to do good things – that is who she is, what she does. The stain on some participant’s karma will begin to show through – too late for Tiger Ranch – but soon enough that further damage may be averted and animal rescue efforts might begin to truly evolve into a real No-Kill movement.

We at Tortiball are thankful to call Lin a friend – and proudly keep her hand in ours moving forward.

Good luck Lin and may peace be with you.

240 cats from W.Pa. sanctuary available to adopt

Updated: 08/28/2009 05:30:22 PM EDT

PITTSBURGH-Nearly 250 cats seized by animal welfare agents from a western Pennsylvania sanctuary will soon be available for adoption now that the owner has been convicted of animal cruelty.

Linda Bruno had hundreds of cats at her 29-acre Tiger Ranch Farm, about 20 miles northwest of Pittsburgh. However, officials say many were sick, dying or dead.

She was arrested in March 2008 and pleaded guilty last month to 12 animal cruelty charges and two counts of tampering. Prosecutors withdrew more than 500 other charges. She’ll be sentenced Oct. 5.

The 240 cats will available for $60 starting Monday from the Clarion County branch of the Pennsylvania Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in Shippenville.

Source: The York Daily Record

Hey Ted? Tell Jack and Bobby how much we’ve missed them over the years…

and how convinced we are that had their tragic deaths not happened, what a better world we’d all be living in right now.

Will you tell them that for us? Will you please tell them that their vision is now ours, and that we’ll not let their deaths be in vain? Tell them that we’re fighting their fight even today.

Go in Peace My Friend. Go tell those Kennedys who passed before you how hard you fought for us, and how much we appreciate it. Tell them how much this country loves the Kennedys. Tell them how lucky we are to have been blessed with their presence. Tell them we’ll never let them or their love for this country and all it promised be forgotten, and how forlorn we are that you all have passed without being able to see what this country COULD have become, had circumstances not barred you from fostering that possibility. Tell them Ted. Tell them for US.

God Bless You, and God Bless Your Family.

The best we can do, and the best way we can honor you and those in your family who’ve fought for what’s right, is to keep up that fight. Tell Jack and Bobby especially that we won’t let that torch be extinguished. Tell them we’ll keep it lit in our hearts. Tell them how much they inspired us, and how much their memory inspires us to this very day. Tell them that their memories will live on in our childrens’ hearts, because we will make it so.

We’ll keep working, and someday we’ll prevail. Someday Ted, we’ll make this the country that You, Jack, and Bobby envisioned it could be. We won’t stop. We PROMISE.

We PROMISE you that Ted.

Vaya con Dios.

P.S. I’d ask you to kick tricky dick for me, and to give ronny raygun nuggies until his scalp bleeds, but I’ve believed for a long time what you now know for sure: they’re both burning in hell.

More than anything else that has happened in the last 12 months, to me, this truly marks the end of an era. I grew up in an era of post-Camelot despondency. With a very strong sense of the loss of “what might have been.”

I was very young when Bobby was assassinated, but I remember it clearly. The shock, the outrage, the great sorrow in the still optimistically liberal household of my childhood.

And more sense of loss of “what might have been.”

Teddy took all those “might have beens,” and forged ever forward. He made mistakes, and refused to wither, refused to slink under a rock and hide. He continued to pursue what he felt in his heart was his calling and purpose.

May his life be a reminder to all of us that though seemingly insurmountable obstacles and heartache may present themselves along our paths — “give up” is not an option.

Our condolences.

To the family, and to the nation.